August 5

Alex’s Birth Story- Part 1

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[Waiting]

It's tough to be in a place of waiting.

We can end up feeling consumed with questions,wants, and worries. And we can find ourselves wanting to rush things, to get past the wait as quickly as possible.

We forget that God's waiting periods serve incredible purpose. We forget that He is doing significant things around us and in us during those times.

If you are feeling frustrated in the midst of a wait, pray this with me tonight:

'Father God, help me to see the good You tuck into my times of waiting. Help me to rest in the truth of Your love when I am tempted to be consumed by worry and fear. I know that You are for me, and I choose to believe Your are Restoring me, NOT ignoring me. In Jesus' Name. Amen' ”

Someone penned those words. Someone shared those words. Someone passed those words to me. The tears streamed down my weary cheeks.

It is 7 days since my due date with our little son. This wait is wearing. This wait wants to rob my joy. Rob my peace, my faith. I allow worry to creep in. I allow the what-ifs. I worry that its me, that my body isn't able to deliver naturally. 

Then I weep. I weep ginormous tears because I WANT Faith over Fear! I WANT trust over the worry and doubts. I DO BELIEVE in my Father God. But this wait... the wait has a way of wearing a person down.

"It's tough to be in a place of waiting.

We can end up feeling consumed with questions,wants, and worries. And we can find ourselves wanting to rush things, to get past the wait as quickly as possible."

This weekend was rough. And today seemed to climax for me. I lost it. I'm sad to say, I blew up...blew up at the person whom I love the most. I hurt his heart. I hurt his soul. And I wept tears of bitter remorse. I cried to God to take this anger, this worry, these doubts away! I prayed for forgiveness, I prayed to forgive myself. I cried myself sick nearly bringing contractions on. I crawled from my soggy tissues and tear-stained pillow and walked to my husbands office and asked for forgiveness. My-self is too much on the piller. I am inward focused. Frustrated. Worried. Scared.

In the midst the devil doesn't stop. He knows how to best get us. The hubby is emotionally drained. He's done. He's working through his own crap. He's distant. We can't connect. Sometimes it feels as we co-exist. I hate it. The devil - he sure don't. He laughs a wicked chortle knowing this is the perfect time to plant seeds of doubt. Seeds of lies. Seeds of insecurity into this hurting wife's heart.

This wife sees it. I see the Enemy at work trying to get me to believe untruth. And I fight it... but it's creeping up on me in a subtle sly way only the enemy can do. I feel my mind is constantly in a battle of wars. I feel worn out. Tired. So tired from the fighting. I feel deeply. I feel the throbs of my husband's hurting soul. I feel his pain. I take him to the cross. Give Him to the Ultimate Healer and beg Him to show Love to my dear man. My heart feels like I can't even be the helpmeet I was created for. This battle. This fighting. My head throbs. Tears stream through my helpless hands.

Trust over Worry. Faith over Fear! Peace over turmoil.

I hold these hands out. I hold them reaching upward. I ask God to come. I look heavenward at the sky. The sky that is painted in such beauty of blue, white, with some pink and orange with the evening sun. I surrender it all to Him.


"God take this mess!"

Lauren Daigle's song runs through my head... “Letting go of every single thing, I lay it at your feet...When you don't move the mountains, when you don't part the waters that I want to walk through...I will trust in You!” Oh that prayer is prayed over and over as the evening moves on.

Trust over Worry. Faith over Fear! Peace over turmoil.

Peace. It comes. Tears roll down the cheeks. It's not over- this war. But the Enemy is not winning this one! We got this... God and I!

About the Author

Katrina is a wife and mom to a new-born son. She's passionate about people and relationships, & loves cooking, cleaning, decorating, gardening, and photography. She also enjoys a good read, quality time with family and friends, or anything creative and artsy and shares her inspirations and photography on her blog.

Katrina

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